Be Curious, Not judgemental

Recently I was conversing with a person who is into people management and one of his query to me is regarding who gets to makes the final decision about a product in which I work. My response was a reflection of the scenarios I went through in my professional journey in which we always understood that each people have their own perspective and reasonings for their decisions and it always helps to be curious about team's decision to enquire why they thought of a certain route.

Just like Ted lasso said in his name-sake series

_“Guys have underestimated me my entire life and for years I never understood why – it used to really bother me. Then one day I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw a quote by Walt Whitman, it was painted on the wall there and it said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.” (Ted throws a dart.)_

_“So, I get back in my car and I’m driving to work and all of a sudden it hits me – all them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them was curious. You know, they thought they had everything all figured out, so they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me – who I was had nothing to do with it. Because if they were curious, they would’ve asked questions. Questions like, ‘Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?’” (Ted throws another dart.)_ 

_“To which I would have answered, ‘Yes sir. Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father from age ten until I was 16 when he passed away.’ Barbecue sauce.” (Ted throws a double bullseye to win the game.)_

Be like Ted lasso :D 

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Death - By Chat GPT

While I was trying to talk about death and life in my previous post which was named as ‘Polarity’, I asked Chat GPT to write a poem about death in Robert Frost’s style and this is what it provided. Better than me, at least. :) 

Context : A young boy drowned in his university pool today, I never knew the lad, just came to know the news and its saddening.

Death, a quiet end to all our fears,
A moment's peace amidst the raging storms,
The final curtain drawn on life's long years,
The last soft sigh before the silent tombs.

But death, it is not just an end, but a start,
A journey to a land beyond the veil,
Where loved ones wait to greet us with their hearts,
And all our pain and sorrows finally fail.

So let us not be afraid of death, my friend,
But embrace it as a natural part of life,
For in its arms we find a peaceful end,
And a chance to be with those we love and left behind.

- Chat GPT

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Polarity

While some enters the earth, someone leaves.

Its just the unfathomed truth that stays.

The one who left isnt the better among two;

nor the one who entered too.

The good and the bad;

Live and demised;

these polarities are the life’s reality.

- An attempt

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Fate

 # The Fate

Fate, which is defined as “the set of things which is out of anyone’s control”, is often misunderstood by the majority, or to make things easy, let's say, misunderstood by me.

Whenever something happened to us, especially, something bad. We often think oh god, not again, why me? then your mind starts working out, it may say that was it because of your past? was it because you didn’t work hard? are you the one who has to be blamed or someone else?

When I was talking to my friend, they said to me that, something isn’t going good, it was like that before, it is like this now, and it won’t work well for them. So they decided it. it won’t work well for them. they just decided it. 

What I want to say now is, yes, it may be bad for you now, and it may be bad then, but have you tried? have you tried to succeed in it? yes? ah, then you must remember the fact that hard work will pay off. you tried hard last time, you tried hard this time, and you should try hard next time as well. do you know why?

America’s greatest president Abraham Lincoln got failed in a number of elections which can’t be counted on fingers. and now, he is remembered as the greatest president of all time.

That's the beauty of life. We don’t know what's gonna happen next, we don’t know when our hard work will pay back? but the only thing we know is it will pay off, one day.

It may take time until the payoff. but the real thing is what are you going do until then? curse your fate and raise blood pressure? or keep faith in your fate? does worrying too much gonna change your fate? does it really matter? then why are you worrying? stop it and play it cool.

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Plans

 # The Unvoved Future

Most of us read newspapers every day. for some, its a ritual, and for the rest its once in a blue moon. However, both these categories gets used to the news which brings the death of someone who we once knew, who were something to us.

Some of these news made us cry, some made us surprised, while some even failed to change our expressions, some of the names in these news could be our friends, relatives, partners or complete strangers.

Even though we used to hear these news everyday, we still remain unaffected. Of course, we may weep or frown after listening to some of them. But after few days we forget everything. Yes, the ability to forget is one of the bless.

But now, we are overusing this bless and hence turning it to a curse. Regardless of our religion, we all are aware of the fact that one day, we will die. and thus we shall return to the place where we all came from. 

We all dream about future, we all plan something for our future, and yes, that's necessary. We have to plan all the things which we want to achieve. as you might have heard, 

“Fail to plan is the planning to fail.”

So what am i talking about? you might be feeling bells ringing in your head by this time. so lets make this clear, planning is important, but along with this you might need a back up plan, so that you won’t run out of options once the first plan blows up.

So, why this back up plan? it all comes from the universal fact that all these things aren’t in our control, look to the past, 

The Portugal, once own the biggest naval fleet and now where are they? The Brits, now they are nowhere near their history, Turkey, all those countries there weren’t a match for them during those days. But now, its all a laugh.

“No body vowed you anything about the future, and no one ever will. You have no guarantee about the next second, you could be alive or dead, but still, thats not in your hand. Make a plan, and make few more, The fact that you aren’t the lord is enough for you to make 1000 mistakes.”

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Journey

Regardless of your agreement, we all are passengers, who got into the train named life. Running behind things which we wants to own, satisfying the basic necessities of yourself from the available options around us, and spectating the wonderful sites outside via the windows.

Those in general compartment wants to get into sleeper class, those in sleeper wants 3tier AC, and then 2 tier and then first class. Thats how we are, we look into things that we don’t possess and get jealous or feel inferior about it. Though, the one who looks into themselves and feel happy are considered as the successful ones.

During this journey, we might get introduced to new people or they might just come to you, who changes their relationship status with you from stranger->acquaintance->to some other important roles, and thats the beauty about it, you never know who this guy/girl gonna be.

A simple, “hi-hello” could change things from absolute stranger to an inevitable part of your soul, they might capable enough to charge you up, might able to boost your limits, push you to something that you never thought you are capable of.

Thats how i met this co-passenger, who were chasing their dreams just like me, who had lot of priorities and had an extreme level of enthusiasm to learn new things, and that set them apart from 90% of souls i met during this journey. 

All those souls i met was reluctant to learn something, they were scared of learning new things and got coccooned into the skill sets or luxuries that they already own. I never sensed an urge in them to learn anything ( may be thats my fault), and they couldn’t digest some facts they weren’t aware of, hence they mocked at everything.

But this person, with the pile of confidence and the never-ending thirst to acquire knowledge, they literally blewed everything off. let that be history, psychology, programming, linguistic, anything, and that was simply awesome. 

From the the initial talks, which started by suggesting books to read, and gradually to everything, the communication grew bigger and wider day by day. 

As the journey continues, we might get introduced to new people again, but there will be those who remain as ours during the whole journey, during your lifetime, and nothing gonna change that. But future? who knows? who knows anything about the next set of railway tracks after this tunnels? who knows when the TTR gonna kick me out of the train which am in? at least i don’t.

You may get introduced to many people in your lifetime, but only very few gets into your heart, and never leaves.

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The line of Stupidity

 “Just because you told me that this is a Davinci Concept, I came to know about it. Else how would i know?” 

Don’t ask me in detail about it, but this is something that made us laugh like hell. The line which separates stupidity and unawareness is very narrow. It is so narrow that some might consider unawareness as stupidity. Or in other words, to make things much more straightforward, I can say it like, unawareness is when people make mistakes about Iceberg lettuce and ButterCrunch lettuce, but when the same guy takes white sand instead of salt, well it's stupidity.

Stupidity can be differed according to a person’s point of view. If I illustrate the same example to a person who is very much fond of salad, then they might consider me stupid for portraying the first one as a mistake.

Being the successor of those who killed Galileo, for claiming the earth’s revolution around the sun, we are quite good at neglecting and rejecting the things that we really don’t know., and so far, some are really living by it.

I still remember, when I was in 3rd grade, I got a photo of a Toyota Landcruiser which costs about 60 lakhs plus in the Indian market due to import duties and other levies, once I showed this to a few, they were like “What? 60 lakhs? not even Mercedes costs that much”, And yes, they were right. The Mercedes c class 202 was about 30+ at that time, but they weren’t aware of other models of merc and this is unawareness.

But Stupidity is banning beef, even after knowing your country is the world’s largest beef exporter, and that is something beyond stupidity, to achieve that level you have to try really hard. 

Why we are like this?

Since I got introduced to a couple of people who adore and embrace Stupidity, I'm asking the same question myself, which I couldn't answer. but still, I think, these could be the reasons.

1. Ego:

 We can’t agree to the fact that the other guy knows much more than us and we actually made a mistake.

2. Dubious:

We aren’t sure whether to trust him fully, so we might do research on that instead (These category people are counted as analysts and they are smart)

3. Being Stupid: 

Just a stupid, being stupid.

“When we don’t look into ourselves, correct the needful, others gonna laugh at us, and that's a shame”

  

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Death

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because Death is likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.” - Steve Jobs.

The Death, We all are aware of it, yet we don’t care about it, until it catches us. 

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New year

 It was 00:00 on 1st of january, and all i could hear was the sound of crackers and *Happy New Year* wishes flooding to my mobile phone. For a moment, i thought like, wow, thats amazing, a new year and new begining, thats stupendous.

That feeling lasted over few minutes, Then i thought like damn, This new year is just based on Gregorian Calendar. Just like gregorian, we do have many calendars, for eg, Hijri, Malayalam Calendar, and many. The starting of each year is different in each of them.

So, what are we doing then? For the sake of argument, we can say that everyone follows gregorian, and i wish i could agree. But No, have a look at the Banks, they follow financial calendar and according to them a new year is on April 1st. The Academic Calendar is different in different places, and in india it starts at june (I’m well aware that it is different for different institution, but the point is, academic calendar doesnt start on january).

That brought a question to my mind, **What are we celebrating? ** According to me, i believe we are just celebrating the starting of a new calendar system by getting boozed and making fake promises to ourselves. Pathetic, aint it?

## Who is the beneficiary?

I do believe that behind every single thing in the world, there lies a reason, which could be spiritual or matierialistic. Hence, i thought like, what could be the reason behind this worldwide celebrations and overratings?

Then i remembered that it could be none, but the businessmen. These pioneers could even turn your demise to an oppurtunity to sell their goods. While i appreciate their marketing ability, our  stand is horrendous.

## So What am i saying?

At this point you might be confused that what this guy is saying? 

Well, Ma’am, Mister, What im saying is there is nothing wrong in analysing your past, but it need not be the exact jan 1st, There is nothing wrong in making resolutions or challenges but it need not be on jan 1st.

Every second in your life is new, if you want to feel happy about living one more year, celebrate every second, coz once a second is passed it aint gonna come back to your life. Analyse yourself for the best, but dont make yourself a blind sheep, who doesnt have its own vision but the shepherd’s.

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Exams

 # The Ultimate Course Of Life

The life, I’ve written so much about it, i might write more about it. Most of us are very much curious to understand the meaning of life, while the rest of us are so busy, posting and plagarizing things that they never cared at all.

### So, What is Life?

Let me try to answer it using a Confusious quote.

*Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated*

Maybe that is true, not may be, must be. According to the Situations, i’ve experienced and withnessed, we are being programmed to this from the very begining of our childhood.

Once the child is born, the parents starts to worry when he/she hits the 3 year old benchmark.

x:

if(age>3)

{

schools();

exams();

marks();

if (marks()<neighbourchild.marks())

{

tutions();

}

if (!job())

cout<<“No job yet? The other one got placed”;

else

{

marriage();

if (!kids())

cout<<“Why dont you try for kids?”;

else

goto x;

}

}

I believe, that small snippet is capable of illustrating possible stress and strains over a man for his lifetime, in a nutshell, and if it isnt, please close your eyes and try to remember your childhood. 

Do you remember the kid, who is wearing a large backpack which is equivalent to that of his weight? Do you remember the one who  tries to memorize the chemical reactions in organic chemistry,  the wave equations in physics and then the who-know-what names in biology together, even though you just want to learn literature? if you do. Thats what i meant to express with that small snippet of code.

The race for the better living, better resources and the better fame than anyone in world, resulted in the development of a pack of people who are more narcissistic and unaware than they ever should be.

*Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.*

- Lao Tzu

Live your life, stay happy and do good, because In the end, There are only three things that count: 

how much you loved, 

how gently you lived, and 

how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.

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Why this blog

 There is a possibility that many of you might get wondered why I use this blog in this era of social networking? Some might even consider me a lunatic who doesn't even like to embrace the latest technologies. I believe this page could provide you all the answers to your question about this blog. (beingrez.blogspot.com)

### Who am I?

Well, I REZ, loves to learn-teach and dream.

### Why Am I using this instead of Facebook? or other Social networking sites?

Well, I think, I made my views about Facebook in the post *Why i quit Facebook?*, I think you should have a look at it.

For the rest of the social networks, im active in *Medium*.

### What are all things I will be sharing here?

Well, for the better part, this is almost like a diary to me. I will be sharing everything ranging from the wild dreams to the sheer experience.

Hence, it is categorized into specific labels.

Which includes Tech, Mozilla, Life, and more.

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